Dad sees White
A normal day at work until the sky turned dark vibrating sound of my handphone against the table distracted me. "Hello..." "Eh, daddy was admitted to hospital you wanna go see him?" I was stunned, I don't know what to think or what to do... My brother told me dad was admitted to hospital but did not give me the details so I don't know what happened. Called my mom but she did not tell me anything in details and quickly hung up the phone. I was nervous and worried ran to my boss room and asked he's permission if I can leave office early. Kept calling home to ask for details and later found out that granny was in our house, mother can't tell me over the phone as she is there. They want to keep that news away from her worrying that it might affect her health as she is not feeling well that day.
I waited downstairs sitting on a bench but I can't sit still. My mind is thinking of a million things worrying what is my dad's condition. The jam was bad that day... It took my brother one hour to come pick me up and one hour to arrive the hospital.
As we arrived at the hospital we saw dad in ICU. It all started on the same afternoon when he felt that his head is aching. He went to see his panel doctor around office and found out that his heart beat is irregular. His panel doctor issued a letter suggested that he should be admitted to hospital immediately. Dad went back home, took a shower and thought that he might feel better... but his condition continued. He immediately called his friend then sent him to the hospital.
We saw dad lying on the hospital bed with lots of machine behind him, some taking his heart beat, pulse, oxygen level and etc. However he doesn't look that bad as we thought and thank god for that. From the information we gathered, dad almost got a mile heart attack so for precautious reason doctor thinks it's best if he's under tight observation. Dad can't stop complaining about how bad the food is in the hospital he couldn't take it and requested us to buy him better food. We refused to do so for his good...
Next morning went to see dad and he looked much better. He told us that the night before his friend came and visit him with a bag of goodies from Mcdonalds...YES! Mcdonalds! He requested his friend to buy him a Chicken Fold Over and etc. Can you believe it? It's a matter of life and death and all he could think about is his tummy?! Spent the whole morning and afternoon in the hospital and finally dad was discharged. We are all relief but worried for him as he insisted to go on a company business meeting in Germany on the coming Saturday. Nothing we can do if he insisted...
Thank god once again for being in my life and my family's life...
Tuesday's Thoughts
Waking up being a person who won 2 bids for two rare Pinky on Yahoo Auction really did made me feel good apart from the dream. I'm receiving some calls and private messages asking about the pricing and etc. Everyone loves those Pinky a lot and I'm very glad to share that happiness with everyone... However, my wallet and my credit card ain't too happy. I never thought about how I am going to pay for them. All I knew was I followed my feeling I knew what I needed to do... I just bid them and won! Now the next scary part is the final bill and also whether it will arrive to me safely! I dont want to be paying for an empty mail box.
Angels in disguise, do you believe in them? There are lots of beggers, welfare, blind people around my office area. Everyday they will be asking for a little help by donating some money. Sometimes I see the same people over and over again and started to question myself. If there are angels in disguise do they always come back to give us second chance to do good? Because I see them everyday! Sometimes I help them out, sometimes I did it so many times I don't know when to stop.
Angels, I believe in them. Living ones too... Met two lovely twins I mentioned earlier in a forum. They are very sweet ladies. Often being used and bullied but still continue to help and being kind to others. Spirit like this is some I always respect and wish to learn from. They started to treat me like a sister and so do I. Being close to angels like them always remind me that no matter how dark I think this world is, the goodness is always shining at another corner. Their spirit lighted up my life and I felt better to live in the world I live in each day. Angels, they are everywhere... sometimes they appear as people you loved most and sometimes they are just strangers. Do I get more chances to do good and be kind to others? No I do not get chances, I just have to do it...
Tonight supposed to be Initial D night! Darling picked me up late. When we arrived at the cinema it was all full due to free sitting arrangment. We gave up on the movie walked straight out and headed for dinner... It was quite disappointin as we took the effort to redeem the tickets then rushed to the cinema and ended up not watching. But the bag of goodies with 2 packets of pop corn, 2 coke, 4 poster, 4 postcard conpensate the disappointment a bit... So it's not so bad after all...
It's almost time to date sandman... He's a cool guy I love spending time with him... Especially in the morning before going to work... You know what I mean... Goodnight blog...
Monday being Monday...
Where is Monday? Is it over? Due to the ammount of task in hand and meetings to attend Monday Blue slipped out of my mind without notice. A day at work passed by so quickly. Got back to home sweet home parents are back and brought back really good beef noodle from some small town which I don't know where... but who cares the beef noodle is good! I ate everything and gulp down the whole bowl of soup.
The night ended after a chess match between me and darling at Starbucks. We went to the bank to pay some bills and passed by Starbucks thinking how nice if we can have a nice cup of ice-blended now! Immediately parked the car right opposite got down order ourselves a large chocolate syrup new recipe ice-blended to share. The chess match was quite fun and everyone should know I lost the game to darling. This is because being a programmer, he use his logics for every move. Being a designer, I move each piece with my instinct and feelings. Logics? Do I care? I guess that's why people say designers are very emotional and sensitive people. Our emotions and senses turns into creation ;)
Father's Day... Where's Dad?
It's Father's Day! Luckily we celebrated Father's Day two weeks ago which I had to buy an expensive dinner for the whole family :P Parents went outstation on this special occasion or should I say the commercialized occasion. Does it mean anything anymore? I personally think if we love our father and mother, we can show them our love and celebrate the occasion everyday! I love my parents a lot.
I had a date with Bruce Wayne today. Went to look at Wayne's mansion through a screen at Summit USJ cinema :P We went about 2 hours earlier before the movie started. Darling and I went to the arcade nearby got us some of those very cute token and played some silly games hitting till our palm hurts. Raced him in Daytona and lost at the last round right in front of the finish line because I screwed up. Played a couple of other silly games but we had fun though... Just wished better air-condition in that place. I never enjoy going to Summit anyway, lousy place, but a place we can get movie tickets easily hehe...
There are some exciting part in the movie and some made me laugh like mad... the part the illusion of the people seeing Batman as a bat with fiery red eyes and mouth... That's funny... I was laughing and darling too but no one else was and I felt weird...Isn't that funny?!
Saturday Fever~
Yeah!!! Today is a non working Saturday...Glad I could sleep a little bit later. However I overslept... *Doreamon ring tone ringing*...*Blink blink*... Wait I could recognize that ringtone it was set for my darling... "Hello...(yawn)"..."Dear, I'm near your house are you ready?" Oops, I overslept and I forgot we're suppose to go line up and get the free tickets to watch Initial D by invitation from DiGi.
I jumped out of bed quickly went and shower. For those who know me I usually spend a long time in shower, this time I had to hurry and end up I still spent 15 minutes...So, you want to know how long I usually take? Don't ask me ask my poor boyfriend who is always waiting for me haha...
Later outside the queue at the cinema, we saw a lot of people and the line was very long. My darling showed me his black face and said "If only someone woke up earlier and we came earlier". Well end up it wasn't that bad, we only waited a while then it's our turn! The ticket turn out quite interesting with a little pocket to hold the tickets inside and a little car cardboard on the outside.
We then walked around looking for gifts for my two kind twins friend from Singapore... Tried very hard to look for something nice and meaningful but end up still cant' find anything...
(Ringing)"Hello kor, are you ready? We are on our way home..." We had to rush home from 1U to meet up with my brother because we're suppose to go to Perodua showroom together to look at MyVi and also some rims for my brother's new Honda City. It was a very hot afternoon, I don't feel too well. The test drive just one round outside the branch carpark was simply silly because we didn't really tested the car! Darling eyed on this car for a long time already. After much discussion he payed a booking fee for the Ozzy Orange MyVi... That's one of a kind color and I guess I love it!
Our next destination was a tyre workshop/showroom. I've never spent so many hours in a place like this before. Walking around the showroom choosing rims for my brother, it was very tiring. After the choosing process, the tyre guy took those we have chosen put it right on top on the existing tyres to see which suits the car best. My brother was hesitating between a 15" and 16" tyres... The process irritates me as his hesitation dragged on the long hot afternoon. The discussion turned out to be a pricy one and finally decided to go for a 15" white Avanti rims with blue racing nuts... Yeah funny huh "Raisin and Nuts" which cost a bomb...
It was a very tiring day for me spending time in the workshop and it is so hot. I ended up having a headache. But perhaps the fun have yet started till... After dinner with parents at a restaurant near our house, darling pointed outside the car window and said "Dear, look! Hot-air balloon!" The car was moving at quite a fast speed but I could see the big colourful hot air balloon behind some houses opposite the highway. I was so excited and requested if we can go there. My brother drove home instead without answering. Then I begged darling if we can go there and just take a look and see what's going on...
I've loved hot-air balloon for a long time. Its' something that I would die to try because I'm afraid of heights but I will not hesitate to go on one even if I have to conquer my fear. We drove all the way to the opposite site of the highway and saw the big thing right in front of our eyes... for the first time... I was speechless. My excitement reflects a small kid looking at their favourite hero beating up the villians. Further investigation we found out that they are launching a new housing area over there and the main attraction is the hot-air balloon. We took some pictures of it using our lousy handphone camera:
The basket was connected to 3 ropes each tied to something heavy and steady. A lorry, A pillar and a huge palm tree. Reason is because they do not want the passanger to fly away haha... The hot-air balloon is tied down so that it can only go to a certain height depending on the wind and the guy controllig it. We waited for about 15 minutes and it's our turn. It was really hard to get into the basket and I'm glad I wore jeans that day... The basket is so high up we need a chair to climb in but it was so hard as my other leg and dangling on the other side of the basket.
The exitement started! We went really high up even higher than a street lamp post. Everything around us was beautiful. At least I think so haha... My bf beside me was terrified when his conversation with the control guy summarized that a tied down hot-air balloon can be very dangerous compared to a free fly one. This is because if there is a strong wind, it might tilt the whole balloon one side and all the passenger in the basket will fall! We tried a bit of that terrifying experience when a strong wind came our way. All I could do is hold on tight. Instead of one ride we had two because the guy needs to change the gas tank so we need to burn up the flames again... I don't know are we lucky or what... I was quite happy about the whole experience. It's like a partly dream came true. Darling wasn't too happy as he's afraid something might happen to him. I thought that riding hot-air balloon together is a very romantic and unforgettable thing but it seems that he is not quite happy. I guess we are unable to connect this way...
After the ride, got home and family decided to go to 1U again. That reminded me I need to get myself a new swim suit. Mom, dad, darling, aunty and sales girl... everyone was there to choose and telling me which suits me best. I have chosen those that I like but ended up buying the one the sales girl thinks it's best... What choice do I have eventhough I'm the one paying it? It was quite a Saturday full of excitement after all... Swim suit? As long as I can swim it in... other than that... Who cares?!
Think Beyond...
Rushing to finish up request for clients again as usual... My taskbar started to blink. Well it's normal as I chat a bit on MSN and working at the same time... This is what we call "Multi-task" :P A friend from Penang, his name is Kennic... That blink actually brought me further into another level of inspiration... To think "Out of the box"... Kennic's blink brought me to: http://cmbsd.cm.nctu.edu.tw/~cm89085/new_adver.wmv
Imagine... sometimes it's the hardest thing to do. How do we look beyond?
A home for the clouds... A new blog I've created. Some of you might know I love collecting pictures of the sky... Everywhere I go I will take different pics of different sky of the different places I've been to... This new blog I will share pics and thoughts about each sky and the feelings about them... http://hezra.blogspot.com
I've finally watched Bleach episode 36 after one week of torture... Waiting... and waiting... All for half an hour of pleasure. The torture started again when Ichigo reached for his Zanpatou... and the word "To be continued" came out on the screen of a 17" monitor... Yes... that is how sad it is... Each week only one episode!
I am still waiting...
Second day of the week...
Same old Tuesday at work... What made the difference is my task today... I was assigned to do a birthday ecard for this client. When I was doing research, man it really hit the stomach... That monster in there feels as though it's going to devour me any minute. Well, I was looking at images of cakes, balloons, presents and happy people... I feel good. I mean it's been a long time I did not really celebrate my birthday. Looking at those images, I imagine a nice vanilla flavour cake, with chocolate bottom, spongy with strawberry toppings... Next to it is a gift wrapped with silver soft material with a rainbow color ribbon... The background plays soft Jazz... in a dancing mood... checkered table cloth in red and white... wooden tables and chair with a comfy cusion laid at the bottom... These imagination slowly turns into the mood towards the direction I'm working on for the semi-animated ecard... It feels good really good...
Got a little surprise from boss after I came back from lunch... He bought all of us Ice Blended Mocha... It's just nice for a almost full stomach after lunch... The smoothness of the Mocha wash down the feeling of boredom after half day at work... The whipped cream so creamy I could feel my tongue wanting for more... But good things don't always happen to me... I ended up in the ladies after that... Haha...
It's been a long time I didn't spend time looking outside the window from the pantry... On where I am the 21st floor... I filled my bottle with half cold water and the other hot... As the water is flowing out from the dispenser I took the time to look outside the window... Seems like it's a nice cloudy day... The small little houses that looks like toy down there looked so clear... I'm glad we can still look at the nice beautiful things that God created in this dark and cruel world these days... Sometimes in the darkess moments of our lives, there's always a silver lining... I believe that... I see life full of hope and joys of the rainbow... I do not fear darkness... I do not fear the cruelty of this world... He made it beautiful to begin with... I'm sure he'll make me see the end of it with the most glorious color when it ends...
The Begining is the End is the Begining...
Fulfilled Weekend...
Friday-- 10 June
Another long Friday full with task and request from clients... Ended up with an evening at Bernard's Centerpoint with hosting partners. Met a cute girl but I was too tired to talk. She said that I'm very quiet, that's what most of the people I know say nowadays. I guess only those guys back in Mampiao class will know who I really am...
Mampiaos are a group of my close friends back in college. We do all the unpredictable silly things together... Our days in college together often end up with laughter and tears...Tears of happiness... tears from the joke that came out from no where.
On the same night I received few sms from a person I respect a lot... something like a brother. This was regarding a message he sent me earlier saying I'm being anti-social and etc. I was trying to clarify to him that I'm not what he think I am, or he thought he knows me real well... He said "You need help... You hate yourself, you are frustrated at the people around you. You don't know what you're doing... You need to let your mind be free in order to find yourself". I was stunned by his words... I replied to him asking if he's joking why is he suddenly acting so weird. He replied with another sms... "Look into the mirror and you will see the problem..."
I've asked myself so many times till today... What is my problem?! Then he sent the last sms... "That's why you find me so interesting because I'm so unpredictable... You need to be more mature in your thinking, then this world will be a beautiful place for you"... Ever since that day I stopped talking to him... Until I find the answer about what he meant... Or am I trying to avoid what he said? Because I'm afraid to face the person he said I am?
Saturday-- 11 June
Another working Saturday... Nothing of the unusual just more work. Left office and headed straight to boyfriend's house to help out to pack up some stuff. He's moving to a new place soon. Few muscular friends of his came and help out... We end up going to Michael's Place at SS3 for dinner. 4 of us ordered 7 plates of western food... There's chicken, lamb, steak, mixed grill.. all of them... >_< Forgot to mention... "The potion are small okay?!"
Sunday-- 12 June
I've been attending my dad's church quiet frequently lately... Today's sermon is about "Cat and Dog Theology"... Is it about cats and dogs you asked? Well, this pastor from US he wrote few books about this theology... His theory is some christians carries the behavior and thoughts like a cat where else some of them are like a dog... How he relates all these? Check out here: www.catanddogtheology.org
During the evening I had to make a difficult decision... I was invited to a dinner "Unknown occasion" from my uncle. On the other hand, my bf's family is celebrating early Father's Day. End up bf and I made a final decision is for me to go to Uncle's dinner.
I'm glad we made the choice. The dinner I went to is Open Doors 50th Anniversary dinner. It's a dinner I think more important than any other dinner event. Open Doors is a organization to reach out to Christians around the world who are persecuted. It's a very burdened and disturbed dinner. Looking at slides of those who are in prison and suffering and dying... All because they want to be GOd's children... I also learned to know that people in North Korea are forbitted to worship the Lord. They will be thrown to prison, beaten up even killed...
One of the video screened an interview with a Korean lady who survived after being imprisoned for 7 years. She saw her fellow believer being beaten up but having to go through all these, they continued to sing and worship god in the cold cell with four wall closing towards their burdened souls... One day she was released from prison in front of 6000 others who suffered the same punishment... The rest of them looked at her with fiery eyes... No... they are not envious... No... they are not angry. Those eyes were all staring at her conveying the message that her freedom is not for her only... Her freedom is for all those who suffered. She knew what she had to do... she needs to use her freedom to free those who doesn't even have a chance to hear the gospel at all...
Read more about Open Doors here: http://www.opendoors.org" title="http://www.opendoors.org" target="_blank"http://www.opendoors.org
It's a meaningful and spiritually fulfilled weekend for me... One step closer to understand God's word and the destiny he has set upon me... My life is not about me... therefore I do not care of what people think about me... My life is about God... Therefore I care about what people see of him... I'm on a journey to continue to seek myself once again... and with his hands upon me I know I'll find it soon...